…I was lying wide awake. Not the least bit sleepy. Tired I certainly was, it had been 3 days since I had a good night’s sleep. Must have slept for 12 hours in the past 3 days. My body complained and my legs ached(a weird sign of my bodily-rebellion). At work I am constantly yawning and can hardly concentrate. I come to work puffy-eyed and with dark circles and have to put up with Ageesh asking me if I took bath at all or just walked straight from my bed to work.
And while the world is sleeping what do I do? Not much really, I toss and turn around for a good 30 minutes till I realize that it is gonna be one of those nights when I will stay up all through. All kinds of thoughts start creeping in, most of them which disturb me more than calm me down and these go on for quite some time. I mentally spew venom at the people I hate. I imagine the conversations I would have if I meet them now. And when am all worked up, I try to calm myself down and try the famous ‘count sheep’ to fall asleep. Never really managed to get beyond 30 by when the next thought creeps in. There are of course nice thoughts as well, I do drift into the ‘Mungerilal ke haseen sapne’ mode during which my entire future gets planned.
My various attempts to fall asleep have been utterly unsuccessful up until now. Listening to soothing music has been an utter failure. Too lazy to go and change tracks in my laptop I end up listening to the same song nearly 10 times. And just before I can go crazy I go and turn off the stupid songs, the thought of anymore songs is also too repulsive. The musical approach to falling asleep lasts for a good 1 hour yielding no results whatsoever. Reading a book to fall asleep somehow did not work over the last few days. All I have at home are a few guidebooks and reading them at 12 in the night neither excites me nor does it bore me enough to fall asleep. How I miss Manoj’s book(just can’t recollect the name, just remember an Indiana Jones kind of protagonist), reading 2 pages of which would instantly put me to sleep. The worst and the least effective sleep-inducers was chamomile tea. The tea was definitely a relaxant, I felt my body pain disappear but even the faint traces of sleepiness disappeared. I was wide, wide, wide awake after the stupid tea. A second glass of tea soon followed after an hour, just to re-test the product, producing the same results. Changing my orientation from Portrait to Landscape also does not help, a 180 degrees turn does not help, dousing a liberal dose of 'Thengina Enne' on my head does not help. Nothing ever fuckin helps.
And amidst all the depressing thoughts and mind-numbingly boring music my stomach starts to grumble. Day 1 of my insomniac week I was ill prepared. I had no milk, no bread, no desserts, no cookies. All I had was some cold rice and I had curd-rice at 3 AM. But over the days I have smartened up and my fridge is loaded with cookies and cereal and desserts to keep me going through the night. There was round of weetabix in milk at 12Am and a round of Rice Vanilla Pudding at 3AM yesterday. Tonight is gonna be a Tiramisu night, the dessert is the only thing I am looking forward to tonight L. And then there is the pressure on my bladder every 30 mins. Where does all the water come from?
This attack of insomnia is apparently because I quit smoking cold turkey. I have all of sudden become a nocturnal creature, albeit without the hip-n-happening night-life. Makes me wonder if it would not be easier to simply go out and smoke and put myself out of this misery.
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