Tomorrow, I will be taking the leap. Into a world of uncertainty. A time where my insecurities may further bog me down. Or a time of deep introspection from which I emerge stronger. Clarity of thought has so far eluded me. Opportunities have yet followed me.
As I decide to take a career break my mind is filled with a thousand questions. Over-thinking complicates life, and that is a burden I will bear my whole life. Will I achieve what I am setting out to? And do I know what I want to? In an Indian context of a super-competitive space, am I making the biggest, biggest mistake of my life? Am I a fool to be knocking off every big opportunity for the fear of failure (or as my friend says I am running away from success)? And is success defined by what people around you think, your peers and bosses appreciation, or is it truly defined by your internal satisfaction of your work (and by extension your life)? Should I be taking on work that bogs me down for the perceived benefits of external validation?
As I think about tomorrow, my mind is abuzz with questions - will I get a job after the break? is my backpacking plan just a foolish fantasy or is it a genuine yearning that will take me far and give me clarity? 7 years into my job if I am uncertain, am I in for a life of uncertainty? am I being foolhardy to assume this break will be my epiphany?
What do i seek to achieve? In an order that is as yet unclear, I intend to achieve the following:
- Travel for the soul, travel for pleasure, travel for clarity and travel for fun before life really does take over
- Introspect - find the confidence in me to accept the trust that others place in me
- Identify that one thing I really want to do. Or may be the 10 things I really want to do.
- Prepare for the future - is it GMAT to get into a B-School?
- Fitness
- Uncomplicate life
I squander another opportunity in life (long live the queen!) in pursuit of a mirage.
